Build Confidence

Low Self Confidence: Reasons & 9 Tips To Become Confident

Before we understand the reasons of low self confidence, let us us understand what is Self Confidence?. Because you can not say you are not confident unless you understand what does it mean to be a Self Confident Person. In this article we will also discuss various reasons which leads to a Low Self Confidence and we will also discuss “How to Become More Confident”


What Is Self Confidence?

self confidence

Self-confidence can be defined where person can trust on his own abilities. When a person is a Self-confident he/she carries a general sense and can better control people their lives and their actions. Confident people build a strong belief system based on their abilities and they are able to achieve what they wish, plan and expect out of their actions.

Why Self-confidence is in demand?

In almost every society self-confidence is considered as a valuable asset of an individual. As William James has rightly explained “believing in oneself” is a key to success. To this date, a number of Self Help Gurus and Self Help industries has been established and helping people in realizing their true potential and building their self-confidence. But do you know why self-confidence is so much in demand?

There are three major reasons:

Makes You Happy:

The very first reason for being a self-confident person is that when a person thinks positive and favorable about him/herself it makes them happier and its another important element of a utility function.

Ability to convince others:

The second explanation in the favor of self-confidence explains the ability of a person to convince others because when a person thinks positive and high about his/her abilities it makes them easier to convince others.

As it has been said that to convince others with your lies you need to believe in your lies first.

It Motivates you:

The third and most important reason for having self-confidence is that it motivates you to undertake and complete projects even after your failures, setback and multiple roadblocks in the pursuit of your goals.

Now as you have understood what does it mean to be a Self Confident Person. Let us a take a look how a Person with Low Self Confidence differs from a person with high Self Confidence.

high self confidence

High Self Confidence

  • They do what they believe is right without the approval of others.
  • They take calculated risks and always try new things.
  • They are open to criticism, Accept their mistakes and learn from them.
  • They know how to accept compliments without bragging on their good work.
Low Self Confidence

Low Self Confidence

  • Their actions and behaviour is often based on "What others will think"mindset
  • They are afraid of failure, they don't take risks and don't try new things. Hence they stay in their comfort zone.
  • They don't accept mistakes and try to cover them up.
  • They don't know how to accept compliments and often try to find out their own mistakes.

Factors Leading To Low Self Confidence

The main reason behind a person with low self-esteem is his/her early childhood development. It all depends on how his/her parents prepare him/her to face the world.

According to research, there are four types of children who suffer from low self-esteem.

  • Harshly criticized by parents
  • Often yelled or beaten on small mistakes
  • Not given sufficient attention.
  • Teased and ridiculed on failures

All these early childhood experiences made them feel that they had to be perfect in order to get respect and even valued by other people.

How does low Self Confidence impact you?

People with low self-confidence suffer from a feeling be incompetence and don’t put their efforts into trying something new. They suffer from a fear of failure. This fears may affect them when it comes to acquire new skills and learning new things.

  • Such people get discouraged very easily whenever they face any difficulty and criticism.
  • Such people see themselves as unworthy and feel that nobody loves them and it makes them difficult to trust others.
  • Such people feel difficulty in sharing their problems as they feel nobody can understand them.
  • With all these fears and trust issues people it’s hard for them to make a positive impression on others

9 Practical ways to build Self Confidence

You cannot go back in time to correct what has been done, but you can apply these practical tips to improve your self-confidence.

1. Imposter Syndrome

Imposter syndrome can be defined as a feeling of being unable to accomplish specific tasks or goals even if you have sufficient evidence of success in the past. Imposters are always occupied with self-doubt that can overpower any other feeling of getting successful. Imposter syndrome is not only common with low self-esteem people but it can also be found in highly successful and high achieving people. 

  • 1. Recognize your imposter feelings
  • 2. Share your feelings
  • 3. learn to be kind to yourself
2. Practice Power Posing

In scientific research, it has been proved that some facial and physical movements have the ability to affect our emotional states.

For example, unobtrusive contraction of the “smile muscle” (i.e., the zygomaticus major) increases the enjoyment (Strack, Martin, Stepper, 1988), the head tilting upward induces pride (Stepper & Strack, 1993), and hunched postures (as opposed to upright postures) elicit more depressed feelings (Riskind & Gotay, 1982)



3. 5-second rule

Quick actions that turn into something meaningful always fascinate us same. This is exactly same with the 5-second rule. It might sound a very simple technique but it’s not that easy.

The 5-second rule is all about taking actions, whenever you feel inspired to do something or get some motivation you need to take action with in next 5 seconds to convert that inspiration or motivation a real action otherwise your brain and millions other thoughts will kill it.

According to the author of this rule, Mel Robbins having self-confidence is a skill which can be acquired by anybody with time and practice. Whenever you feel the urge to do something you need to take action in next 5 seconds otherwise you will get enough time to doubt on yourself and your rational mind will come into play which deals with the pros and cons of your actions.

You can relate this process to a situation where you are sitting in a business meeting and you get a fantastic idea but you hold yourself and you start analyzing it into its pros and cons and finally, you decided to stay quiet. Therefore to become confident you have to act confidently and you have to be faster than your doubts.


4. Power of Visualizing Success

Process of visualizing is still in process from 1970 when soviets identified its effectiveness for achieving success in sports. Nowadays most of the athletes practice this technique. In some cases, researchers have found that mental practices and imagining yourself in the same positions before stepping into the real action has been considered as effective as a true physical practice, and practicing both can deliver success. 

Take your time close your eyes and imagine yourself in the same position & situation where you want to see yourself. Engage all your five senses and try to feel, like you are living it in real.


5. Always be prepared

Trying to look confident with shallow knowledge on your topic is like making fun of yourself in front of others. Knowing what you are doing and what you are talking and how things work is the key to look confident and become confident. 

Spend time in going deep into your subject, read books, listen to podcasts, watch videos and read articles. The best you can do is to hire a mentor, coach or a teacher that can guide you through.

6. Social Media is Killing Your Self Confidence.

Clarissa Silva in one of her in-depth interviews with active social media users ranging from ages 28-73 has found some negatives impacts of social media on those users.

  • 60% of active social media users revealed that their self-esteem was impacted by social media.
  • 50% of people reported that their relationships were hampered by Social media
  • 80% of people found that anyone can be deceived through social media sharing.

Read more on paradox effect and vanity validation

Social media is the deadliest enemy killing your self-confidence unconsciously because you are stuck in your screens and trying to compare everything with your lives which is posted on social media.

Make sure you spend some time outside of your screens and explore the world.



7. Don’t announce all your goals

Another secret of achieving self-confidence is by setting and achieving goals. Sometimes we get excited and announce all our goals but it has been proved that announcing your goals gives you a false sense of accomplishment. 

I personally believe that when you announce your goals it is possible that you encounter naysayers which may influence your decision to accomplish your goal. There is one more reason for not announcing your goals that failure in achieving your goals can make your enemies empower you by criticizing you in public that can affect your self-confidence level.



8. Power of affirmations

Saying positive things about yourself can help you boost your confidence. Every day for at least 2 minutes you should stand in front of a mirror look into your eyes and say, “I am confident about my abilities to achieve my goals”, “I have all the required knowledge and skills I need to excel in my life”.

Now repeat these lines until it becomes natural. But one thing you should always keep in mind that without actually working on yourself these affirmations won’t help you. You need to work on yourself then only these positive words can help you boost your confidence.



9. Meditation Will help

10 min daily in silent meditation can help you overcome your fearful and unhealthy thoughts. Meditation can help you find your inner peace and creates a personal space to connect yourself


Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: